Lost In Twilight Land
by Bronsted-Lowry Base
Summary: Three college freshmen are stuck in Twilight & setting this story back to normal won't be easy if Bella's a sexual fiend, Jacob has an odd attachment to trees and dogs and the Cullens are trying to eat them! R
1. We're All Mad Here

RainKarami: um ok, peoplez. Listen, I remember reading twilight when I was twelve and loving it and as I kept on reading the other books I was a bit disappointed in Bella's reactions to almost everything. They're not Harry Potter, but they're addicting so I've decided to make my very first twilight fanfiction. Please be kind and if you spot mistakes or things that just don't add up TELL ME, thank you.

"Alfa Kenny Body…Alfa Kenny Body." She tried to understand the pun and squinted in concentration, "Alfa Kenny Body."

"D'ja get it Lady?" Lauren asked eagerly while chortling.

"…No." Lady turned her eyes to Edward, "But I bet he will."

"Hmm…" Lauren sent the vampires at the other table a speculative look, "The one who looks like a human wall," she eyed Emmett "or the one who looks like he's about to burst out into a Sweeny Todd moment?" Lauren tried to shift a bit farther away from the table full of loud teenagers all the while muttering about 'shameless young people'.

Andrew gave a girlish giggle and turned back to the book at hand, "Alfa Kenny Body." His eyes brightened in understanding, "Oh~ I get it! Believe me, I will." He sighed a bit, "Desperation really does nothing for my complexion."

Lauren stared at Andrew, "Andrew, my love."

"Yes?"

"Won't they hear us from here?" Lauren asked slowly; she had always been a bit slow.

Andrew shuffled a bit uncomfortably while stealing glances at the vampires every now and then. Lady only burst out laughing in the most inappropriate moment, "Oh, oh! Alfa Kenny Body! I'll fuck anybody!"

Andrew and Lauren groaned and looked away from her. They spotted Bella in the cafeteria and tried to call her over.

"Oh, there's Bella! BELLA! Yoooohooo!" Lady started to wave her hand around frantically, "Bella, over here! Here!" Lady made some room for Bella and instantly attached herself on her arm.

Andrew's eyes glazed over as he remembered how they got here.

********Flash back********

Andrew sighed and tried to get the kinks out of his neck, "Lauren, move over! Twilight and I need some space to love one another!" He laid his long legs over Lauren's and shoved his socked feet at Lady's face. Lady made an attempt to bite his toes but he drew them back just in time.

"You know hun, you could go on the floor instead of my couch bed thingy." Lauren replied as she surfed for gay porn, "Oh! This one looks nice. 'Twink rides monster co-'"

"Ow! Andrew!"

"Oh my gawd, Lady. I will tear off your weave. I will tear it off, if you don't be quiet. Edward is talking about how they shouldn't be friends." Andrew let out a dreamy sigh, "Oh Eddy my love, we don't have to be friends, fuck buddies would be awesome."

"I do not have a weave. It is my real hair….it's just really long!" Lady huffed and peaked over Lauren's shoulder to watch the amateur clip of porn. "Ohhh~ Lady like porn!"

"Lady should learn proper grammar." Lauren sighed with a bored expression on her face, "Just wish they were more flexible. It's the same position over and over."

"What did you expect? It's a _free_ porn site. Men aren't that flexible anyways, not like me." Andrew said in a smug tone and ignored cries of repulsion from the girls, "So I suppose that's the best they could do, now turn the volume off." Andrew readjusted himself so that his legs were tucked underneath him. "My man and I need some quality time."

"Your man is a VIRGIN!" Lauren wrinkled her nose in distaste, "A virgin with too much shimmer on himself. He should want to _glow_ not blind everyone within viewing distance." Lauren pouted, "Now Taylor-"

"Jacob." Lady interrupted.

"Whatever, he is waaaaay sexier! Have you seen those abs? I know you have a poster of Jacob on your wall, Andrew. Gregory complains all the time." Lauren grinned at the memory of Andrew's college roommate stomping over to her, demanding she do something about Andrew and the poster that kept 'killing his game' with the ladies. "Edward can catch an apple and run, big deal!"

"My man is sexy, you jealous bitch!" Andrew snapped.

"True." Lady nodded, "The sexy part, not the jealous bitch part," she patted Lauren's knee in reassurance. "I've been reading some Edward Cullen and Jacob fanfiction , so hot." Lady sighed wantonly.

"Ok, ew. Take your female orgasm somewhere else." Andrew made a disgusted face behind his book.

"No. Anyways, Edward is sooo cute in it, of course they switch around."

"Make it stop." Lauren groaned at the thought of a shimmering Edward Cullen and a werewolf Jacob rolling around and decided on deleting her history. Better be safe than sorry.

"I would want to see them going at it," said Andrew and grinned perversely. "Maybe I'd even join in."

"The very thought is repugnant." Lauren wrinkled her nose in distaste and beamed as she went over to and saw an advertisement, "Want to know what it's like to be in Twilight?"

"Yes!" Andrew said and flipped the page of the book.

"Nope." Lauren passed the silver laptop to Lady who simply went on to read about Draco and Harry and their sex lives ahem I mean love. Yes. Love.

All of a sudden the laptop started to glow!-

Nah. I'm not doing that to you.

All of a sudden, the TV began to glow!-

Not that either.

Okay…..

Andrew raised an eyebrow when a piece of paper slipped out of Twilight. The book was the reason why he breathed and wanked since he had been 13! He started to read the piece of paper out loud in a very monotone voice, "Directions, hello there reader! You now have a copy of a 'trans-dimensional book! Twilight Edition' if you wish to try it out please stick your hand in it and repeat, 'Musho Musho Para Gusho'. Have fun and have a nice day."

Andrew blinked…did he want to try it….?

YES!

"Musho Musho Para Gusho!" Andrew attempted to stick his hand in the book and all he got back was a paper cut.

"FUCK! Papercut! " He hissed in pain.

"Lol. Lol. Lol…" Lauren said. "You're a dumbass, it's ok. At least it's not your 'fun, fun alone time' hand."

"It's Lady's turn to try! I can do anything!" Lady stuck her hand in it and quickly said, "Musho Musho Para Gusho!"

Andrew and Lauren watched in stunned silence as the book vibrated and began to slowly suck Lady in.

Slowly.

Very slowly.

"Um, ok no. Lady, get your hand out of there, we have a road trip tomorrow and this is taking way too long."

"B-But Lady's power work!" Lady whined.

"No. It's not working fast enough." Lauren tried to push Lady's hand deeper into the book, the book jumped and while Andrew was grabbing Lauren's arm while Lauren was holding Lady's wrist they were fiercely sucked into a black vacuum hole.

Ok for those who don't get it when Lauren says "Lol." She's not laughing she's actually saying "L" "O" "L" (el-oh-el)

I was thinking of ending the chapter here but it seemed too short.

Andrew groaned and rolled off something hard, blinking in disbelief he realized he was next to a cliff_. A fucking cliff_. He took a long breath and stated calmly, "I could have fallen to my untimely and totally unawesome death…like, right now. No need to panic, 'cause I totally didn't, because I'm just so _awesome_."

Yeah. Right.

"Yeah, right. Hey, you okay there pal?" Andrew whirled around when he heard that, a snarl already on his lips when he froze.

"Hey buddy…? You ok?"

Andrew's eyes sharpened and suddenly the snarl turned into a flirtatious smile. "Oh, hello. I'm Andrew. And who might _you_ be?" _You hot piece of man flesh, you. _Andrew had to stop himself from moaning when the delicious male specimen smiled uncertainly and rubbed the back of his neck, "Oh, hey Andrew. My name is Jacob, Jacob Black. Are you ok? I saw you passed out here….."

Andrew didn't squeal. He didn't.

It was a manly scream….of surprise.

"What?"

Andrew sashayed over to him, "Oh, nothing!~ I was just wondering where I was." He eyed the tight muscles underneath the white shirt Jacob was wearing, "You see… I'm not from around these parts. It seems I'm a little lost."

"Really? If that's so, I can help you out. How did you get here anyhow?"

Choosing to ignore Jacob's question Andrew practically bounced over to a slick looking motorcycle, "Hey, is this yours?"

Jacob nodded a bit hesitantly; something seemed off with this boy.

Another squeal.

"So cool! Can you give me a ride…Jacob?" Andrew tried rolling Jacob's name in his mouth and found himself loving it. Flicking a brown strand of hair away from his eyes he put on his best 'Help me! I'm an innocent uke*' face.

Jacob felt a tad uncomfortable, was it getting hotter out here?

"Er. Sure. I said I would help you didn't I?" Jacob decided that it would be better if he got this kid back home soon; the guy's brown eyes kept heading towards his crotch area.

Was he-?

Nah.

He wasn't a vampire looking for a weakness on him, he didn't smell of anything but human, ink and makeup- what?

Whatever, but it still was all human and there was not a trace of a leech's scent on him.

"Come on already hot stuff! Don't want to keep me waiting!" Andrew called and Jacob was surprised to see him already on his motorcycle.

"Coming!" Jacob walked towards him and also got on the motorcycle, "Hold on tight."

Andrew immediately latched on to him from behind and took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Jacob's delicious abs.

_Oh YES!_

As they took off to go to Leah's house (where everyone in the pack would be) Jacob tilted his head to the side; it felt like he had missed something.

"My name is Andrew."

Oh yeah, that.

Jacob was startled to feel Andrew's hot breath on his ear, "But cute boys like you can call me Fairy."

Jacob blushed, "Calling you Andrew is fine." Wasn't calling someone a fairy kind of rude in England?

Andrew allowed himself a grin and rested his chin on Jacob's shoulder. Jacob was kind, modest and oh so fuckable, life was good.

He wondered where Lady and Lauren were though. Oh well, as long as he had Hunky over here he was good.

End of first chappie.

*Uke is the bottom in a gay sexual relationship in manga or anime.

Want to know why Andrew told Jacob to call him 'Fairy'? Tune in next time!

And to avoid confusion, yes Andrew is gay. He is a raging, flamboyant gay who was out and proud since middle school and was raised in San Francisco, Manchester. Currently in first year of college, he is studying to be an architect. Is also very into video games and wrestling.

He is based on a couple of people (both guys and girls) I know, **no he does not represent all gay men.** That's ridiculous; it's like saying one straight girl represents all straight girls. Bloody ridiculous. He is ONE individual person. I'm sorry if I offend anyone but I'm not going to change him unless a large number of people feel like he's satan on ice.

Oh and if you can't accept homosexuals, transsexuals, straight people, bisexuals and etcetera, you don't need to read this. But if you decide you can handle it or if you're comfortable with it and decide you like my story so far, please read it. This is not for profit but for entertainment.

You can expect me to update this story either every week or two.


	2. Why Is A Raven Like A Writing Desk?

RainKarami: Yes! Another chapter updated! I kept my promise! Please enjoy chapter two of "Lost In

Twilight Land"

'_Fuck you Andrew!_' was Lauren's first thought as she gazed at the pale, plain face of Bella Swan.

"What are you doing in my room?" Bella whispered as calmly as she could while she tried to collect her wits.

"What am _I_ doing in your room?" Lauren whispered a hurried question back at her.

"That's what I just asked you."

"That's what _you_ just asked me."

Bella sent her a curious look; that made _no _sense. Well, curiosity killed the cat…

This was going to get them nowhere. Lauren glanced down and saw that the book that she had managed to snatch away from Lady at the last second was vibrating…giggity.

NO! No time for that!

But it was _vibrating_-

'No! Concentrate!' Lauren sternly told herself in her head while placing a hand on the book. It seemed to relax and yet another piece of paper slipped out. Bella curiously tried to pick it up from the purple bed they were both sitting on. Lauren snatched it away from Bella and began to smother her with a pillow to keep her quiet. Quickly reading the paper's instructions, she quickly began to scribble in the book with a pen that Bella had been using to write her English essay with. She got the pillow off Bella and began to smooth her hair.

"H-hey Bella! Bellatrix!" Lauren smacked Bella lightly on her face, "Come on you big baby…I didn't kill you."

Bella stirred and opened her eyes, "L-Lauren…?"

Oh. So it worked.

"Hey Babe, you ok?" Lauren smiled at her.

"Y-yeah…why did you try to smother me with a pillow?" Bella looked confused. Why _did_ Lauren try to smother her? For shits and giggles. Teehee

"Er. We were having a pillow fight…and I guess I got carried away, sorry hun."

A look of understanding passed in Bella's eyes, it frightened Lauren at first but she let it pass. After all Bella wasn't suspicious, which was odd. After all Lauren was a bed intruder.

This is good…

"Oh….ok." Bella wrapped her arms around Lauren and tried to_ kiss_ her. The little whore!

"What the Hell!" Bella got a face full of pillow again.

Bella looked confused, "What's wrong babe? Weren't we having fun? After all you _did_ say we were having a," Bella took this omment to waggle her eyebrows suggestively, "pillow fight~" She leaned forward with a predatory look in her eyes.

Only to get smothered by a pillow again.

"Bella, let's calm down and let's not get carried away…" Lauren scrambled to remember what she had previously read on the Twilight book, and once more took the pillow off Bella. Holding the pillow against her chest in a protective manner she peered at Bella.

"Bella…you ok now?"

"I would be better if you didn't try to play hard to get." Bella crooned, " But I like a challenge~!"

This was NOT how Bella Swan acted!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%DayDREAM%%%%%%%%

"_Y-yeah." Bella's pale face turned red as she stuttered an apology, "S-s-sorry! I-I don't know what got i-into me! I swear I didn't- I didn't mean to-"_

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%END Day DrEAM%%%%%%%%%%%%%

_Who was this creature purring at her_, Lauren thought in horror.

Maybe punching her wouldn't be such a bad idea….?

Before she could strike a blow to Bella's approaching face they both heard a man call for Bella.

Lauren put down the pillow in relief, "Bella, it's ok. Um, I think I heard Charles calling you."

"Who?" At this point Bella was stroking Lauren's arm suggestively, "I don't hear anything, let's fix that." Bella flung Lauren on her back, "Let me hear your moans…what's your name again?"

OH HONESTLY!

"Lauren, I'm your buddy from …before! Remember?" Lauren tried to get off the bed desperately.

"Nope." Popping the 'p' at the end Bella grinned and leaned forward.

"Nooooo!" Lauren cried, "I said no! so if you try it'll be rape! Well, sodomy I suppose."

"Party pooper. So im not getting laid?" Bella asked with a bored tone.

"No! so go see Charles! He just called for you!" Lauren shrieked.

"Who? Who are you talking about?"

"Charles…your dad- I mean shoot!" Lauren almost smacked herself, "I meant Charlie, and he called for you earlier. Said something about a truck or a car…?"

"Oh, I should get to him then. I'll be right back."

"Take your time!" Lauren called out from bed.

"Yeah, gotcha' babe."

Lauren let out a sigh as Bella left the room. The instructions had told her that if she wanted to accommodate herself she could edit a few parts of Twilight so that she could have housing or money or any OC privilege. This WAS Twilight, right?

A snort.

More like Twilight Zone.

Rolling of the bed Lauren tried to recompose herself after what she now called, 'Bella Event of 2015'.

Bella Swan was a sexual fiend. A danger to society and young girls' virtues, not some stuttering girl child who tried to woo the sparkle man.

Scary.

Lauren gave a small shudder and fought the urge to write creative emo poetry to describe the traumatizing event she had just gone through. Instead, she picked up the pen and continued to write the small tweaks she needed in order to survive Twilight.

_Bella Swan began to feel uncomfortable being alone in __Spoons__ Forks and asked her mother to take her back. However, her mother asked Bella to instead, house acquaintances that would go to school with her. Bella eventually accepts the three humans and likes them well enough. Now, Bella has to get situated at __Knifes__ Forks High and help her three new….friends? _

Ok, so her summary sucked in ways that-

NO! That wasn't the point!

The point was how could the book have possibly misinterpreted that enough to turn Bella into a lesbian sex fiend? Was the Bella in the books a mistake then? Figures.

HOW?

Curse these horny pre-teens!

Lauren groaned, this is what she got for not paying attention to fanfictions in which a dumb human would get stuck in a book/movie/manga/comic/video game/epic adventure. This. Is. What. Happens.

She would blame her abusive childhood and her tragic past in typical angtsy mary-sue form. However the only thing that was tragic about her life was her lack of smooth moves on the gentlemen and the fact she was a gay karma sutra…and she wasn't GAY. Damn her curiosity, this is the trouble she gets into when she's allowed to do her own shit.

Lauren momentarily stopped her inner self destructive rant to notice the fact Bella was back and was looking at her with a sheepish expression, "Lauren, are you alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're mumbling to yourself and your hands are moving….everywhere…"

"Yes, well, that's because my hands are epic and need to express themselves." Lauren had the decency to look at least a bit embarrassed over her spazzing out moment.

She called it a normal moment but hey, don't ask her. She talks to herself.

"Hey, um Lauren? Where is ….." Bella's eyes blanked out for a bit.

"Lady and Andrew?"

"Y-Yeah! Weird…I forgot their names for a second." Bella shrugged and stuffed her hands into her pockets.

'_You never knew them.'_ Lauren thought silently and just laughed, "Yeah, happens to everyone, eh?"

Oh, lookit a Canadian moment.

Haha. Stereotypes made her laugh.

Bad Lauren. Baaaaad.

"I actually don't know where they are actually. Hey, Bella, help me look for them? I don't really know this place much and I think I might get lost in the forest…and die." Lauren tied her dark hair back with the loose hair tie on her wrist. Quickly trying to fix any eyeliner smudges on around her dark eyes she fixed herself the best she could and patted Bella's bed in an attempt to fix the wrinkles.

"Yeah, I don't really know this place better than you but sure." Bella eyed her as if she were a tasty chocolate cake.

Wait a tick!

"We could get lost. We better just ask Charlie instead," Lauren said suddenly. Thinking logically always helped; she had learned that after years of jumping before looking. Literally. She should have seen the tree that practically mutilated her face otherwise known as The Second Tree Incident of 2007 .

"Oh, right. Let's just do that then." Bella started to go downstairs and looked back at Lauren, "Coming?"

"Totally, just give me a sec, 'kay?"

Bella nodded and just went downstairs without her.

Yep. She was going to _kill_ Andrew.

After introducing herself to Charlie and agreeing to take the basement as a bedroom she went with Bella to the nearest Home Depo.

Not before having to be driving in her Truck of Doom™.

It was hideous, and she wasn't just saying it because she was used to seeing nice cars belonging to nice boys Andrew brought along sometimes, but because it truly was awful.

"Are we going to die?" Lauren's voice trembled a bit as she white knuckled the end of her sweater.

"It's just loud. It has personality." Bella explained as she continued to drive the monstrosity.

Lauren threw a fierce glare at the pale girl, "Bitch, don't test me!"

Bella turned her head to the side just a tad and spoke after some consideration, "You don't like cars do you?" Bella hadn't known how to react at first when Lauren had turned into a vicious bitch after driving a few blocks in her baby. Her truck drove just fine, but according to Lauren it wasn't worth keeping around. After a few minutes of listening to a slightly disturbing story of how trucks were proven to be evil after The Motor Vehicle Night of Horror incident of 2010 which took place on a road to Georgia, Bella parked, "We're here."

LAND!

Throwing herself out of the TD (Truck of Doom™) Lauren proceeded to touch the ground with her hands and knees and began to pray to Hades to take the creature (TD) away. Both disturbed and amused Bella just pulled her to her feet, patted her 'baby' and lead Lauren inside the store.

Thank you for the reviews.

Please Review Again!

Okay, some info on Lauren. She seems like she can't keep her mind on one thing for long…her mind tends to wander. She's a bit on the perverted side and although she always has the best intentions she doesn't always come off as the best person out there…

She's 19 years old and a freshman in college, currently studying History and dreams of one day lecturing at Oxford or becoming a science teacher at Cambridge. Lauren was raised by her father and mother and tends to spend too much time on the internet and can be quite sarcastic while trying to be friendly. She has NO skills with men and instead of getting along with them she tends to isolate herself from them. "Because men are scary."

She's not lesbian or bi. Just fyi. There will be NO ROMANCE since this is mostly comedy and friendship. If you're desperate for some romance tell me what couple you want to get together. It will be kept mostly cannon much to the OCs chagrin.


	3. Curiouser and curiouser!

Edward Cullen had never known how it felt to have his eye twitch with irritation. If he just so _happened_ to stop his vegetarian way for a moment, just a few minutes...well, it shouldn't be a real problem would it? After all he was sure this…_thing_ wasn't human. It couldn't be.

Look at it.

It's a creature.

Lady smiled and took another bite of the leaf from the faux plant ornament, delicious.

Oh GOD.

Edward shook his head in order to clear it and tried to block out the nonsense he was hearing form that _creature's_ head.

_.yum. _

_.nomnomnomnomnomnom…nom._

_This tastes like that Peruvian dish…the one with the hamster- guinea pig._

Make her stop!

Dashing towards her Edward picked her up by her collar and managed to growl, "What are you doing here?" He thought he sounded scary, and he knew he must have looked terrifying and almost felt bad except-

Lady had begun to nibble on a few of the hairs on his head.

Ok. What?

"You taste like soup."

Edward blinked and looked at her again, yep. It was a grown woman, an ugly one if he could say so himself. He stopped and sniffed the hair-air.

That _scent_!

It was glorious!

Edward pulled his lips back to reveal long canine teeth; he would feast on this creature!

"Yo yo Eddie-o, you best be backin' off mah grill. Lady don't play." Lady pouted with a leaf still in her mouth.

"Ohhhhh~ I knew there would be a visitor today. I saw it! How exciting!" Edward heard Alice giggle behind him. What the hell? She knew with thing would be here and she can't open her mouth and give a heads up?

Lady's eyes lit up, "Hello~ I'm Lady and you're Alice and we're going to be friends! Da?"

Edward recoiled in horror. Not another one!

Dropping her as if she were a bag of cat droppings he stalked back into his house and tried to ignore the sounds Alice and that freak- Lady (What kind of name is that?) were making.

"And then I went POOF! And ended up here. And yo- frizzle I saw this tree-izle-" Lady continued.

For crying out loud, was that 'izzle' needed for every word? What's a "tree-izle"? That's not something organically grown on the earth, he knew that much!

"And I was like, fo'sizzle! I gots to get that leafy green on mah grizzile!" Lady laughed along with Alice.

He wanted to kill, kill and maim. To just silence the idiocy that was Lady and let it rot. After sucking it dry. Huffing in irritation he checked to make sure his beautiful hair was in its prim condition on the mirror on the wall and headed towards the kitchen.

"Mom, a human entered our back yard."

Rosalie, who was sitting on the counter talking to her mother, opened her mouth with a scowl, "We should ki-"

"We should kill it." Edward interrupted.

Rosalie opened and closed her mouth in a perfect imitation of a human gasping for air, "W-what? Since when do you agree on my ideas?"

Edward turned his head towards her with a grim look, "Since this particular one. She's a danger; she could endanger us with her sheer stupidity."

"Yo yo! Name's Lady from Cali-to the –Fornia! I'm unforgettable! I'm fine, fresh, fierce and got it on lock." Lady stopped and looked at Rosalie, "Oh em gee! You look like my MOM!"

Rosalie's nose wrinkled with disgust.

"Moma? MOMA?" Lady grabbed Rosalie by the shoulders and shook her, "Moma! I found you! I haven't seen you since you left me at the park and ran away screaming, 'Freedom'! Moma why didya go?" In a sad attempt of holding her newly found 'mother' Lady puckered her lips and wrapped her arms around Rosalie's slim body before being thrown across the room.

"Get it away!" Rosalie shrieked and took hold of the nearest hand sanitizer and began to spritz her hands and arms hysterically. Half sob half yowl she cried, "Kill the beast! Kill it! It touched my perfection it must diiiiiiiii-ah-ah-ah-iiiiiie!"

Lady stood up dazed and frowned, "So unchill moma. So unchill."

Hissing, Rosalie turned to her mother and demanded something to be done with the repulsive human sitting on the couch fiddling with her bling.

Alice giggled, "I think she's wonderful."

"You also think Tinkerbell is your soul sister and that Peter Pan is your long lost son and Captain Cook's the baby daddy and thus you should receive full custody and receive all the profits from the books and movies." Edward helpfully pointed out while touching up his perm.

Alice's eyes narrowed, "My baby, my money."

Edward sent her a cautious look, "Right…"

Lady shook her head, "Ugh, I'm so confused-"

"I have a feeling that's a set mode for you" Rosalie sneered.

"I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt." Lady sighed.

Oer. What?

"Oh sweetie, you're lost and you have no mother?" Edward heard his sweet, innocent and incredibly naïve mother say.

Lady sent her a finely crafted look of woe made to induce over-whelming guilt and remorse and finished it off with a pathetic sniffle, "And I've ain't gots no homies to keep me up or a place to sleep."

If his mother could cry, she would right now. Edward was impressed, that look was a well practiced one, one that would receive a 9.2 from him of it weren't for the fact that he knew she was just a hellion beast sent here to punish him for disturbing the peace during the 70's.

"well, you can't stay here." Edward crossed his arms and glared along with Rosalie.

"You can stay here!" Edward flinched at the sound of delight from his mother's side of the room.

Lady's eyes watered and she rushed over to clasp the beautiful vampire's cold hand, "Thank you!"

Edward huffed yet again and marched straight into his room, leaving behind him Rosalie's discontent shrieks and Alice's happy humming. He flinched when he heard his mother say the woman would stay in the room across from his.

Damn. He was hungry.


End file.
